Friday, 20 May 2011

May 21, 2011: I'm looking forward to tomorrow because...

1. I may wake up to a world inhabited by nothing but Godless heathens like myself. If that's the case then I shall enjoy my last five months on earth despite the horrid suffering I'm meant to endure. If there is a God and s/he would treat the diversity of the human race with such disdain and only allow a small minority of closed minded people into heaven, then heaven isn't a place I want to be anyway. So I'll just remain on the planet with all the cool party people, jam on my ukulele and we'll have a great time.

2. I may wake up to discover that I'm one of the chosen to fall into a pit and then be taken up to heaven. If that's the case then I know God is cool, has good taste in people and that all my friends, family and loved ones would be there. In fact if that's the case, then I'm willing to bet that heaven would be filled with fantastic people from all over the world, almost to the point of over crowding, but we'd all love it. Plus, there would be a special place for those of us to strum ukuleles instead of silly harps.

3. I may wake up to a day just like any other day. Frankly, those days aren't so bad. I rather like them. Bring 'em on! I think we should all live our days as if they are our last anyway.

Plus, tomorrow will be extra fun because Rapture or no, it's my friend, Jules's hen-do.

Yes indeed, I'm looking forward to May 21, 2011.

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

I'm Too Competitive for My Own Good

For those of you who have been reading me for a while, you'll remember when I took part in (and won) The Biggest Loser contest at work. I wasn't extremely overweight to start with, but by the end of it I was nice and thin and felt good about how I looked. Of course since I saw myself as being pitted against another highly competitive colleague (who was so competitive he would put candy bars in our mail trays), I didn't lose the weight appropriately. In fact I was losing more than 2 pounds a week some weeks, which isn't good. But I won. I won. I won. And, it's winning that's important, right?

Well, the weight came back. And without the competition to spur me on, I wasn't so determined to lose it. I lost some of it, but I wasn't happy, nor was I consistent with my diet and exercise. Finally, I got disgusted with myself and decided I needed something to put me back on track, so I joined (gasp) Weight Watchers online.

So far it's been great. It's manageable and easy, the site has great recipes and advice and I was finally losing weight the right way. I lost 3 kilos in 4 weeks and was very near my goal. I was feeling good and had more energy and everything seemed rosy...until today.

Today people at work have decided to do another Biggest Loser contest again. Only £5 to enter this time, so the prize isn't as high. But my competitive side went nuts. "This isn't fair!" it screamed. "I've already lost weight. Now I won't be able to lose as much weight. I'm at a distinct disadvantage. I'll never be able to win now!!" I begged my friend and colleague, Em, who is organising all of this, to allow me to use my last weigh in weight but she refused. Grrrr...

And so, I marched myself down to our cafeteria and bought the most fattening thing I could find, pasta carbonara, plus a chocolate chip cookie. Then upon discovering that there were cup cakes in our faculty lounge, I ate two. Now I feel sick, but I won't let that stop me.

Tonight I'm going out for pizza and leaving drinks for my friend, Marianne, who is off to do her Free Range Human thing for a few months. I will eat loads of pizza. I will eat a fattening dessert. I will drink high calorie fru fru cocktails. And tomorrow I will continue to eat and eat and eat. So hopefully by Friday I will have put back on those 3 kilos and can start over. I am a sick sick puppy. Move over Monica Geller-Bing, your competitive streak pales in comparison to mine!

But this time I will keep the weight off. I plan on staying on Weight Watchers until Jan 2012. This will be my last Biggest Loser challenge. No matter what happens in this competition, I will be a healthy winner by this time next year.