About five months ago I was sitting in my friend Marianne's garden relaying my tale of woe about the current state of my love life. "Have you thought about a dating web site?" she asked me. I groaned. Had I thought about a dating web site? I'd been there, done that and now owned a few tee-shirts. I really didn't want to go there again. "You should give it another go if only just to realise that there are loads of men out there and to get out of your rut." And with that she took my hand, dragged me into the house and sat me down in front of her computer.
It is here that I should mention that Marianne is a career coach and a damn good one too. She writes an informative and entertaining blog about making career changes and runs her own coaching business. As we sat in front of her computer with her giving me advice on how to create a profile that captured the essence of me and was tailored to finding my ideal man, Marianne kept chuckling and pointing out how this was very similar to what she does for a living. Then it hit me. Internet dating is a lot like job hunting and frankly you'd rather be in the perfect job than out there looking it for it. So maybe the key to finding the right person online is to approach your search in the same manner you would when looking for the perfect job.
1. Your CV (that's resume for my fellow Americans)
When you're looking for a specific job- that perfect job- you want a CV that stands out among all the rest and shows off your skills, experience and even in some cases your personality so your future employer notices you, wants to know more about you and contacts you for an interview. (As an aside Marianne has written a great blog post on CV and cover letter writing.) This is just the same as an internet dating profile. You want to show off how great you are without boasting and at the same time you don't want to ramble on in great detail about yourself. That will just bore any prospects. Why would they want to know more about you if you tell them everything straight away?
You want your profile to reflect the best side of you, so for pity's sake CHECK YOUR GRAMMAR! This is just as important in internet dating as it is in job searching. If you use text speak in your profile, you will come across as lazy. If your profile is riddled with grammar errors that any primary student can spot, you will look illiterate. Do you want a lazy and illiterate partner? I don't.
Put up a few nice photos. This is a must and is an area where a dating profile is different than a CV. You want at least one nice attractive photo of yourself up there. Profiles without photos usually do not get noticed. Choose your picture honestly as well. Don't select a picture taken ten years ago when you were two stone lighter, but instead choose one that was taken within the last two years. If you end up on a date looking significantly older than or nothing like your profile pictures, at the very least your date might not completely trust you and at the worst no longer find you attractive.
Remember that it is also YOU who's looking to 'hire' someone. What type of profile grabs your attention? What type turns you off? Apply these preferences to the profile you're creating. At the end of the day we want a partner who compliments our personality and is drawn to the same things that interest us. If you don't want to read your own profile, who else will?
2. The Cover Letter
So you think you've found your perfect match online and want to make contact? This is just the same as finding the right job and wanting to be selected for an interview. Make your contact and make it personal. This is the same advice Marianne gives to job hunters about writing cover letters. You don't want to be the typical introduction email or you will just be set aside in the same way employers will bin letters and CV's that are just a repetition of the status quo. I once received a long introduction message that read as if it could have been copied and pasted and sent to many women at once. A friend of mine was on the same site and received the exact same message from the same man. Needless to say, neither of us got back to him and we had a good laugh about it. Really read the person's profile and say something directed towards them, about them and go beyond the trite, "I enjoyed reading your profile and think we have a lot in common." Mentioning a common interest or playing on their sense of humour is a good start. You want give them an intriguing taste of who you are so they will want to know more about you. However, don't be too wordy. Again, you don't want to bore your potential date or give too much away about yourself in one go. If you are the one making the first contact, your introduction message is meant to have your readers want to go back and look at your profile and your profile is meant to leave those readers wanting to know even more about you.
Oh and again you're putting your best face forward here, CHECK YOUR GRAMMAR!
3. The Interview
So you've made contact, spoken a bit and now it's time for that first date. First dates and job interviews are very similar and if you're a naturally introverted person, both job interviews and blind dates can be horribly intimidating. Marianne has yet another terrific blog post about introverts and interviews. One of the keys to success in an interview is preparation and that goes for first dates as well. Re-read your date's profile. Think of some interesting questions that would stimulate conversation and allow you to discover more about your date. However, before you even get to the point of having a first date with someone be sure that you really want to be having that first date with that someone. Get to know them a bit. Exchange a few emails and chat on the phone. Granted some people are not good on the phone and you might not be either, but speaking before your date can give you a good idea of what the date might be like. So give them a ring just to confirm the date and you can at least hear the sound of their voice. In the end the more you know about the person you've just met online, the more relaxed you'll be when you meet them in person.
Once again remember that you are doing the interviewing too. This holds true for job interviews as well. You don't want to find yourself in a job that you despise just to get by much like you don't want to be with someone who annoys you just to have a partner. On the other hand, don't be overly judgemental. This is, after all, just a date and chances are high that the person you meet will be just as nervous as you are. So if you both just relax and enjoy the moment all should go well and if it doesn't and is awful, you don't have to see that person ever again.
4. Don't Give Up
As I said a the start of this internet dating, like job hunting, is not easy. That's not what the internet dating sites would have you think, however. On their introduction pages and in their advertising they show happy couples or cute little animated couples having the time of their lives. They don't show you the amount of time you spend reading profiles, the disappointment of not being written back or how frustrating it can be to go out on a date that you think went well only to never hear from the person again. But, don't let this get you down. Internet dating is certainly not the only way to meet people but it does help in many ways. For starters the not-so-fabulous dates can be seen as flirting practice. You might not meet the right person, but what's stopping you from practising your verbal banter on those you do?
The best way to keep the roadblocks you may stumble across during the beginning of internet dating from getting you down is to not take them personally or seriously. You'll find yourself just giving up on dating completely and losing all desire to put yourself out there if you do. It may not be easy, but perhaps you should approach it in the manner that the internet dating site marketing team would have you believe it all is, light hearted and fun. You need to keep your eye on the prize with an optimistic attitude.
So where am I now with all this internet dating stuff since Marianne put me back online? Well, I must confess that once I realised how similar internet dating and job hunting were I backed off and crawled back into my very dissatisfying, but comfortable, rut. This is quite similar to those people who stay in their mediocre jobs and not seek something better because it is just too much trouble. However, with the new year comes a new frame of mind. It's time that I really got out there and found the satisfying, loving long term relationship that I'd really like. Internet dating may not be the answer, but it is a means to an end. And, it's one I'm going to approach a bit more seriously.
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Sunday, 10 January 2010
Tuesday, 29 July 2008
Tuesday, 22 July 2008
Sunday, 20 July 2008
Not Suffering Fools...Really Really part 2
Ahhh but there's more...
Remember Poopy Pants who blew me out from our first date on Friday? If you will recall, we made a date for Sunday (today), but I decided to cancel as I frankly just didn't want to deal with a first date 3 days before leaving for 2 and 1/2 weeks. So, I rang him yesterday afternoon. I asked him how he was feeling. He said he was feeling a bit better, but still a bit ill. I told him that I didn't think I could meet up Sunday as I might possibly be staying up in North London where my friend's party was. This wasn't entirely true, but he understood. He asked me if he had ruined his chances by cancelling our first date. I said no, and at that point I did mean it. I figured that perhaps I would give him another chance when I got back from the US. After all he is tall, cute, and funny. Plus, his illness did seem quite genuine even if very vulgarly stated. Then he asked me if I had a moment and could he ask me a question. I told him he could, but I was in a bit of a hurry.
"Okay," he said, "Why aren't you married?" At that point I could hear the gun go off as he had just shot himself in the foot.
What I really wish I had said was this:
"I'm not married because I keep dating idiots like you."
Of course I didn't say that. I gave him the answer of not meeting the right people blah blah blah. I asked him why he wasn't married and he gave me a similar answer. We exchanged pleasantries and I bid him good-bye. I have no intention now of giving him that second chance.
Onwards and upwards. I'm done wasting my time with fools.
Remember Poopy Pants who blew me out from our first date on Friday? If you will recall, we made a date for Sunday (today), but I decided to cancel as I frankly just didn't want to deal with a first date 3 days before leaving for 2 and 1/2 weeks. So, I rang him yesterday afternoon. I asked him how he was feeling. He said he was feeling a bit better, but still a bit ill. I told him that I didn't think I could meet up Sunday as I might possibly be staying up in North London where my friend's party was. This wasn't entirely true, but he understood. He asked me if he had ruined his chances by cancelling our first date. I said no, and at that point I did mean it. I figured that perhaps I would give him another chance when I got back from the US. After all he is tall, cute, and funny. Plus, his illness did seem quite genuine even if very vulgarly stated. Then he asked me if I had a moment and could he ask me a question. I told him he could, but I was in a bit of a hurry.
"Okay," he said, "Why aren't you married?" At that point I could hear the gun go off as he had just shot himself in the foot.
What I really wish I had said was this:
"I'm not married because I keep dating idiots like you."
Of course I didn't say that. I gave him the answer of not meeting the right people blah blah blah. I asked him why he wasn't married and he gave me a similar answer. We exchanged pleasantries and I bid him good-bye. I have no intention now of giving him that second chance.
Onwards and upwards. I'm done wasting my time with fools.
Saturday, 19 July 2008
Wednesday, 25 June 2008
Inspiration from London Bloggers and a Long Hot Bath
Last night I went to my first ever London Bloggers Meetup. I have to admit I felt quite uncharacteristically shy and rather self-conscious. This was due to not having met these people nor having a chance to really peruse some of the blogs they authored before I arrived. Everyone I met was friendly, interesting and obviously intelligent. Andy, who organises this, had four speakers come. The people I met along with the first two speakers really got me thinking about this little H in London blog and why I do it.
Today, being my first day of Summer Holiday, I found myself lazily getting out of bed about 9:30 and then taking what had to be the world's longest bath. As I've mentioned before, long baths tend to get my little grey cells working. I thought about that book that's been in the back cobwebbed shelf of my mind waiting to be written, about my plans for working my way through Artist's Way to tap my creativity, about how I began to write about my luck with cars and then just let it fizzle and about all the journals I have filled up since I was a teen. Then, suddenly a little light-bulb went off. I decided to create a new blog.
This new blog is My Luck with Cars and Boys and I will post on it at least once a week (this is my solemn vow). It will be a memoir of sorts with a bit of embellishment and changing of names where deemed fit. Maybe in the long run it will turn into something more.
As for H in London, she will remain. I will post with as much frequency about the thoughts-n-things that pop into my head. I'll even put the 'My Luck with Cars' posts here, but to read about my past luck with boys you will have to venture there. I decided to kill off 'H in Pain'. Who wants to read about my moaning of the mysterious side pain that plagues me? Hell, even I don't.
Thus, I've posted my first post on MLwCaB and then surfed through blogs finding a few from folks I met last night. Gwen also came over and gave her a load of nice kitchen items as she leaves soon to go back to the US. I'll really miss her...sniff. I just realised that it's almost 5 and I have yet to eat a proper meal or do work that needs doing for my course. I'm also thinking about heading to Nine Yards tonight as my plans for going out this evening were cancelled. I best get moving.
Today, being my first day of Summer Holiday, I found myself lazily getting out of bed about 9:30 and then taking what had to be the world's longest bath. As I've mentioned before, long baths tend to get my little grey cells working. I thought about that book that's been in the back cobwebbed shelf of my mind waiting to be written, about my plans for working my way through Artist's Way to tap my creativity, about how I began to write about my luck with cars and then just let it fizzle and about all the journals I have filled up since I was a teen. Then, suddenly a little light-bulb went off. I decided to create a new blog.
This new blog is My Luck with Cars and Boys and I will post on it at least once a week (this is my solemn vow). It will be a memoir of sorts with a bit of embellishment and changing of names where deemed fit. Maybe in the long run it will turn into something more.
As for H in London, she will remain. I will post with as much frequency about the thoughts-n-things that pop into my head. I'll even put the 'My Luck with Cars' posts here, but to read about my past luck with boys you will have to venture there. I decided to kill off 'H in Pain'. Who wants to read about my moaning of the mysterious side pain that plagues me? Hell, even I don't.
Thus, I've posted my first post on MLwCaB and then surfed through blogs finding a few from folks I met last night. Gwen also came over and gave her a load of nice kitchen items as she leaves soon to go back to the US. I'll really miss her...sniff. I just realised that it's almost 5 and I have yet to eat a proper meal or do work that needs doing for my course. I'm also thinking about heading to Nine Yards tonight as my plans for going out this evening were cancelled. I best get moving.
Sunday, 15 June 2008
Hooray Pt 3
So, date number 2 went very well. There is a date number 3 in the works, but at this point I'm going to stop blogging about them. Don't want to jinx it after all, and this is a part of my life that from this point needs to be a bit more private. That being said, thank you for your crossed fingers.
Today was a lovely day and I walked into Kingston to buy the award books for our students and on the way I came across a swan family. So I took a pic.
Aren't they cute? After buying the books I decided to treat myself to a frappuccino. Unfortunately, I dumped almost half the contents over my jeans, shoes and floor when I was at the bank. You know, I didn't really even care aside from the fact that I was very embarrassed.
Time to get to that marking.
Today was a lovely day and I walked into Kingston to buy the award books for our students and on the way I came across a swan family. So I took a pic.
Aren't they cute? After buying the books I decided to treat myself to a frappuccino. Unfortunately, I dumped almost half the contents over my jeans, shoes and floor when I was at the bank. You know, I didn't really even care aside from the fact that I was very embarrassed.
Time to get to that marking.
Saturday, 14 June 2008
Slide those fingers...
...back into their previously crossed position, as date number 2 is this evening.
I'm far more nervous about this date than I was about the first one and am fretting over what to wear, etc. I think I really like this guy. He's been texting and calling throughout the week and I can't help but smile when I see it's him. We're meeting in town and then wandering about to find a place to go for drinks outside since the weather is lovely. Thus I need comfortable, yet sexy shoes. I was thinking of heading to Clarks to buy a pair that I had my on, but Linds cautioned me against that. I'm also wondering if I should wear my new purple top with the funky straps or the black top with the unique neck-line. I figure a skirt is in order.
I feel a bit embarrassed being this nervous. If (no H think positively) WHEN this works out, I'm not going to tell him where to find my blog until we are a solid item.
You know, last time I blogged about being nervous before a date, things went really well-well aside the fact that it ended. But, we're still friends. Please don't let blogging about this date jinx it...PLEASE.
So anyway, fingers crossed, and thank you.
I'm far more nervous about this date than I was about the first one and am fretting over what to wear, etc. I think I really like this guy. He's been texting and calling throughout the week and I can't help but smile when I see it's him. We're meeting in town and then wandering about to find a place to go for drinks outside since the weather is lovely. Thus I need comfortable, yet sexy shoes. I was thinking of heading to Clarks to buy a pair that I had my on, but Linds cautioned me against that. I'm also wondering if I should wear my new purple top with the funky straps or the black top with the unique neck-line. I figure a skirt is in order.
I feel a bit embarrassed being this nervous. If (no H think positively) WHEN this works out, I'm not going to tell him where to find my blog until we are a solid item.
You know, last time I blogged about being nervous before a date, things went really well-well aside the fact that it ended. But, we're still friends. Please don't let blogging about this date jinx it...PLEASE.
So anyway, fingers crossed, and thank you.
Friday, 6 June 2008
Hooray!!!! pt 2
Again, at the risk of jinxing this let me just say that things last night went better than I expected. Thank you for crossing your fingers, but please keep them crossed as long as they don't become cramped.
I had a feeling things would go well when I had a place and time to meet in my mind to suggest, but he texted me suggesting the exact place and the same time first. :-D
And, today is Friday. :-D
And, the sun is still shining. :-D
Yay!
I had a feeling things would go well when I had a place and time to meet in my mind to suggest, but he texted me suggesting the exact place and the same time first. :-D
And, today is Friday. :-D
And, the sun is still shining. :-D
Yay!
Wednesday, 4 June 2008
Hooray!!!!
I may actually get to vote FOR someone this presidential election!!! Barack Obama has claimed victory for the Democratic Nomination. Of course he still has to be confirmed, but I have no doubt that he will be. I have been keeping an eye on him with my fingers crossed since the beginning.
YAY!!!!
In other news, I'm off to see the Sex and the City film tonight with a lovely bunch of gal pals. I'm really looking forward to it. We will be consuming cocktails before going, of course.
And dare I say it... I have a date tomorrow. It's a first date, so I'm trying not to give it much thought. Hopefully, mentioning it here will not jinx it. I really hope I end up liking this guy (he seems really nice thus far) and that feelings are mutual. It's high time I met someone new who I will get on with well (VERY well if you get my meaning. nudge nudge, wink wink). So, please keep your fingers crossed for me.
The sun is shining today and it's nice and mild.
Life is looking up. Let's hope this continues.
YAY!!!!
In other news, I'm off to see the Sex and the City film tonight with a lovely bunch of gal pals. I'm really looking forward to it. We will be consuming cocktails before going, of course.
And dare I say it... I have a date tomorrow. It's a first date, so I'm trying not to give it much thought. Hopefully, mentioning it here will not jinx it. I really hope I end up liking this guy (he seems really nice thus far) and that feelings are mutual. It's high time I met someone new who I will get on with well (VERY well if you get my meaning. nudge nudge, wink wink). So, please keep your fingers crossed for me.
The sun is shining today and it's nice and mild.
Life is looking up. Let's hope this continues.
Thursday, 1 May 2008
Weird Dream
So, the other night I had a rather strange dream.
First in my dream locations were not the same. Wimbledon was actually in Kingston and the tennis courts were in a mall.
A few friends and I were in a little shop by the 'tennis courts' and I was looking at a used, cheesy romantic novel that had been made into a film (Serendipity I think it was) and scoffing at how things like that don't happen in real life. I then went outside with my friends and literally bumped into a young man. He wasn't my typical type. He was shorter than me with olive skin, long dark hair and big hazel eyes. (I'm no longer a fan of long hair) He was quite cute. There were sparks galore and we chatted away. He ended up being involved with some musical project and needed a female DJ (the talking kind, not the spinning tunes kind). He was very interested in the things I had done, the voice work and my writing, and suggested that we get together and collaborate on a few projects he wanted to get started. I was thrilled! He wrote his number on a flyer for something he was involved with, and I put it in my handbag. Then he asked if I would like to watch some tennis? Sure why not, and so we did (as it was a dream there were no need for tickets). Afterwards, we went to a shop across from the first one I had been in. We spent some more time talking and then said our goodbyes with the knowledge that I would call him since I had his number (I didn't give him mine) and we would get together.
I returned to the original store where I had seen this book. Seeing how the day had gone, I decided that I would eat my words regarding the soppy unrealistic nature of the book and buy it. I took the book to the counter to pay for it and discovered my purse was gone!
This meant I had no phone, no money, no keys, and no flyer with the guy's name and number on it. Shit! I retraced my steps, went to every place we had been and inquired about my handbag. Nothing! I was horrified and that's when I woke up.
Not very fond of this dream. It was far too much like my real life for my taste.
First in my dream locations were not the same. Wimbledon was actually in Kingston and the tennis courts were in a mall.
A few friends and I were in a little shop by the 'tennis courts' and I was looking at a used, cheesy romantic novel that had been made into a film (Serendipity I think it was) and scoffing at how things like that don't happen in real life. I then went outside with my friends and literally bumped into a young man. He wasn't my typical type. He was shorter than me with olive skin, long dark hair and big hazel eyes. (I'm no longer a fan of long hair) He was quite cute. There were sparks galore and we chatted away. He ended up being involved with some musical project and needed a female DJ (the talking kind, not the spinning tunes kind). He was very interested in the things I had done, the voice work and my writing, and suggested that we get together and collaborate on a few projects he wanted to get started. I was thrilled! He wrote his number on a flyer for something he was involved with, and I put it in my handbag. Then he asked if I would like to watch some tennis? Sure why not, and so we did (as it was a dream there were no need for tickets). Afterwards, we went to a shop across from the first one I had been in. We spent some more time talking and then said our goodbyes with the knowledge that I would call him since I had his number (I didn't give him mine) and we would get together.
I returned to the original store where I had seen this book. Seeing how the day had gone, I decided that I would eat my words regarding the soppy unrealistic nature of the book and buy it. I took the book to the counter to pay for it and discovered my purse was gone!
This meant I had no phone, no money, no keys, and no flyer with the guy's name and number on it. Shit! I retraced my steps, went to every place we had been and inquired about my handbag. Nothing! I was horrified and that's when I woke up.
Not very fond of this dream. It was far too much like my real life for my taste.
Monday, 21 April 2008
After Much Deliberation...
......I've decided that my perfect man is some type of combination of Colin Firth, Stephen Merchant, Stephen Fry, Simon Pegg and Robert Webb.
That's not too much to ask is it?
That's not too much to ask is it?
Wednesday, 12 March 2008
PA with latent OCD or Bath Catharsis
When I lived in Seattle my friend, Steve, and I would have what we called Rice and Beans Catharsis. Both of being vegetarians at the time (I am no longer), we would go to a Mexican Restaurant and eat variations of rice and beans, drink copious amounts of margaritas and have serious discussions about our lives. Many times these discussions were quite therapeutic or cathartic, thus we gave the outings the acronym RBC. We had one rule only. What was said at RBC, stays at RBC.
The other night I had a bit of a cathartic epiphany but it occurred while I was on my own in the bath. I was not fueled by rice and beans or margaritas, but I did have a glass of white wine and had a smoke* so I was quite relaxed and my mind was wandering freely. I began thinking of the ways in my recent past and my present that I communicate with men I'm interested in, and it hit me.
I'm Passive Aggressive.
My communication with men I fancy seems to be mainly on messenger and via text. I'm very comfortable with that. It freaked me out a bit when Matt and I began dating and he would call me. Actually use the phone to call- what a concept! Matt would rarely text or respond to texts and our emailing was at work and would usually end with one of us dropping by to see the other. So he's an exception to my mode of communication with men of interest (I shall refer to them as MOI-also standing for Male of Interest-from this point on. I like acronyms).
Of course there are loads problems when you choose to communicate in this manner. I know that, but I still end up in these texting messaging situations. I just ended one and now I find myself possibly starting another and not even thinking twice about it. Sheesh. However, this mode of communication makes it easier to avoid situations or not face them directly. Plus, I can say things via text or messenger that are difficult to say to the person's face. Thus, it's passive aggressive.
Now since I have recently been self-diagnosed as a Lazy OCD, I can redefine my mental disorder.
I'm Passive Aggressive with latent Obsessive Compulsive tendencies.
Maybe that should be my headline on a dating profile or perhaps my new status on Facebook. I think that headline and this picture
would bring men running to my door. LOL!!!
So, after I realised that I'm Passive Aggressive with latent Obsessive Compulsive tendencies I laughed, got out of the tub, and responded to a text sent to me by my current MOI.
* For those of you who knew me back when smoking was a daily habit, I want to assure you that it is no longer. It is an occasional special treat.
The other night I had a bit of a cathartic epiphany but it occurred while I was on my own in the bath. I was not fueled by rice and beans or margaritas, but I did have a glass of white wine and had a smoke* so I was quite relaxed and my mind was wandering freely. I began thinking of the ways in my recent past and my present that I communicate with men I'm interested in, and it hit me.
I'm Passive Aggressive.
My communication with men I fancy seems to be mainly on messenger and via text. I'm very comfortable with that. It freaked me out a bit when Matt and I began dating and he would call me. Actually use the phone to call- what a concept! Matt would rarely text or respond to texts and our emailing was at work and would usually end with one of us dropping by to see the other. So he's an exception to my mode of communication with men of interest (I shall refer to them as MOI-also standing for Male of Interest-from this point on. I like acronyms).
Of course there are loads problems when you choose to communicate in this manner. I know that, but I still end up in these texting messaging situations. I just ended one and now I find myself possibly starting another and not even thinking twice about it. Sheesh. However, this mode of communication makes it easier to avoid situations or not face them directly. Plus, I can say things via text or messenger that are difficult to say to the person's face. Thus, it's passive aggressive.
Now since I have recently been self-diagnosed as a Lazy OCD, I can redefine my mental disorder.
I'm Passive Aggressive with latent Obsessive Compulsive tendencies.
Maybe that should be my headline on a dating profile or perhaps my new status on Facebook. I think that headline and this picture
would bring men running to my door. LOL!!!So, after I realised that I'm Passive Aggressive with latent Obsessive Compulsive tendencies I laughed, got out of the tub, and responded to a text sent to me by my current MOI.
* For those of you who knew me back when smoking was a daily habit, I want to assure you that it is no longer. It is an occasional special treat.
Friday, 18 January 2008
Never Be Lonely
You know you are really over someone when 'the song' comes on and you don't want to vomit. Tonight I came home from the pub and turned on my computer, which I had put to sleep in the middle of its iTunes mix. Lo and behold, 'Never Be Lonely' by The Feeling started to play and I thought, 'Hey, it's been a while since I've heard this.' It was a song that my previous boyfriend liked enough for me for me to purchase and put on a CD for him for Valentine's Day last year. (As an aside I'd like to go on record as saying that I'm not really a fan of The Feeling. Neither is he for that matter.) Instead of feeling physically ill as memories of our previous relationship came flooding back to me as happened the last time I heard this song in July, I found myself smiling thinking of the fun we had and glad that we managed to remain friends.
Hopefully, I'll be one of those 'people in love' again soon. (Yeah that was cheesy, but I couldn't resist)
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Now playing: The Feeling - Never Be Lonely
Hopefully, I'll be one of those 'people in love' again soon. (Yeah that was cheesy, but I couldn't resist)
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Now playing: The Feeling - Never Be Lonely
Thursday, 13 December 2007
Sick Thoughts
Ahh, but my title has probably led you astray. I'm not thinking 'sick thoughts' as such, although I do admittedly have quite sick thoughts from time to time, but I am just sat at home very sick and thinking.
Thinking too much is a problem I have.
And so I woke this morning wondering why I always go back to ex's or why do I keep them in my life. I have now come up with an answer...comfort.
I like to be comfortable. Comfort is good. There is admittedly a charge when a new relationship begins...butterflies, silly smiles, and what not, and all of that is truly enjoyable. But, what makes me the happiest is the settling in and being comfortable, simply knowing what to expect, establishing routines, etc.
That being said, I don't like it to be all comfort and laziness all the time. There has to be spontaneity to add spice to the comfort or the comfort becomes dull. However, all in all I like to know what to expect. Even if what is expected is that the person will be a shit.
It's ironic that I would allow comfort to rule over me like this. I've always thought of myself as an adventurous type, and adventurous types generally go beyond their comfort level. I, on the other had, always date the same type of guy (musician or artist type) and then when it ends I cling to the comfort that relationship brought me. Thus, I either end up getting back with my ex in some way only to have it fail again or I become close friends with them.
It's time to step out of my comfort zone.
Thinking too much is a problem I have.
And so I woke this morning wondering why I always go back to ex's or why do I keep them in my life. I have now come up with an answer...comfort.
I like to be comfortable. Comfort is good. There is admittedly a charge when a new relationship begins...butterflies, silly smiles, and what not, and all of that is truly enjoyable. But, what makes me the happiest is the settling in and being comfortable, simply knowing what to expect, establishing routines, etc.
That being said, I don't like it to be all comfort and laziness all the time. There has to be spontaneity to add spice to the comfort or the comfort becomes dull. However, all in all I like to know what to expect. Even if what is expected is that the person will be a shit.
It's ironic that I would allow comfort to rule over me like this. I've always thought of myself as an adventurous type, and adventurous types generally go beyond their comfort level. I, on the other had, always date the same type of guy (musician or artist type) and then when it ends I cling to the comfort that relationship brought me. Thus, I either end up getting back with my ex in some way only to have it fail again or I become close friends with them.
It's time to step out of my comfort zone.
Sunday, 25 November 2007
Inventions That Would Make Ne Rich.
I have 4 inventions, which I believe would make me a very wealthy woman if I could only figure out how to make them.
1.Bottled X-Factor- Now, by this I am NOT referring to the television show or anything about Simon Cowell. I'm talking about that inexplicable umph, that element in relationship you can't explain which keeps the two people together. It's beyond physical attraction and compatibility and even beyond fantastic sex. It's the aspect of relationships no one really understands but everyone knows when it is there. In some instances, however, it's there for one of the parties in a relationship but not the other. There are also relationships where everything is perfect between two people and it really should work out, but the X-Factor is absent. Finally, some relationships had the X-Factor at the beginning but after some time together, it disappeared. To be ethical the Bottled X-Factor would only work if both parties in the relationship agreed to use it. Genuine interest in what could develop must be there for both parties even if the X-Factor isn't.
2. Bottled X-Factor Remover- This is to be used in cases where one person feels that special umph, but the other one just doesn't and has no interest in trying out the Bottled X-Factor. This is to be taken before dating or sleeping together actually begins. It's intended for unrequited love, crushes and the like where the object of one's affection simply doesn't return it or is completely unavailable (i.e. is married to someone else or a a member of the clergy). Simply take the Bottled X-Factor Remover and all urges will simply fade away to regular ol' friendship. You can then go find someone who returns your affections or is willing to give the Bottled X-Factor a shot.
3. Get Over It Pill- I believe this would be the most popular of the three I've mentioned so far. This one little pill would take you beyond all the pain and suffering you experience when a relationship ends. Take this pill at the end of the relationship and you will be over it within only one day, not the painful weeks, months and in some cases years it usually takes.
4.Communication Device Breathalyser Editor (C.D.B.E.) - I believe all of us have suffered through 'intextication' where we have been pissed and sent a text we later regretted. And let's not forget drunken phone calls or stupid emails and IM conversations. This gadget would work on phones as well as on computers for email and instant messenger programs (including websites like Facebook or MySpace). Simply attach the C.D.B.E. to either your computer or phone and switch it on. (This should be done before going to the pub) The C.D.B.E. will stay activated for a minimum of 12 hours. Before using your phone or computer you must blow into the C.D.B.E. If it is determined that your alcohol blood level is above the common sense limit, you will only be able to make emergency phone calls and all text messages, emails, and instant messages would be edited for emotive quality and stupidity before they are sent.
I know that I would become very rich if I could figure out a way to create and patent these inventions. Too bad that's not possible (with the exception of maybe the breathalyser) as I know many people (including myself) who could have benefited from any of these.
1.Bottled X-Factor- Now, by this I am NOT referring to the television show or anything about Simon Cowell. I'm talking about that inexplicable umph, that element in relationship you can't explain which keeps the two people together. It's beyond physical attraction and compatibility and even beyond fantastic sex. It's the aspect of relationships no one really understands but everyone knows when it is there. In some instances, however, it's there for one of the parties in a relationship but not the other. There are also relationships where everything is perfect between two people and it really should work out, but the X-Factor is absent. Finally, some relationships had the X-Factor at the beginning but after some time together, it disappeared. To be ethical the Bottled X-Factor would only work if both parties in the relationship agreed to use it. Genuine interest in what could develop must be there for both parties even if the X-Factor isn't.
2. Bottled X-Factor Remover- This is to be used in cases where one person feels that special umph, but the other one just doesn't and has no interest in trying out the Bottled X-Factor. This is to be taken before dating or sleeping together actually begins. It's intended for unrequited love, crushes and the like where the object of one's affection simply doesn't return it or is completely unavailable (i.e. is married to someone else or a a member of the clergy). Simply take the Bottled X-Factor Remover and all urges will simply fade away to regular ol' friendship. You can then go find someone who returns your affections or is willing to give the Bottled X-Factor a shot.
3. Get Over It Pill- I believe this would be the most popular of the three I've mentioned so far. This one little pill would take you beyond all the pain and suffering you experience when a relationship ends. Take this pill at the end of the relationship and you will be over it within only one day, not the painful weeks, months and in some cases years it usually takes.
4.Communication Device Breathalyser Editor (C.D.B.E.) - I believe all of us have suffered through 'intextication' where we have been pissed and sent a text we later regretted. And let's not forget drunken phone calls or stupid emails and IM conversations. This gadget would work on phones as well as on computers for email and instant messenger programs (including websites like Facebook or MySpace). Simply attach the C.D.B.E. to either your computer or phone and switch it on. (This should be done before going to the pub) The C.D.B.E. will stay activated for a minimum of 12 hours. Before using your phone or computer you must blow into the C.D.B.E. If it is determined that your alcohol blood level is above the common sense limit, you will only be able to make emergency phone calls and all text messages, emails, and instant messages would be edited for emotive quality and stupidity before they are sent.
I know that I would become very rich if I could figure out a way to create and patent these inventions. Too bad that's not possible (with the exception of maybe the breathalyser) as I know many people (including myself) who could have benefited from any of these.
Saturday, 24 November 2007
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