When I lived in Seattle my friend, Steve, and I would have what we called Rice and Beans Catharsis. Both of being vegetarians at the time (I am no longer), we would go to a Mexican Restaurant and eat variations of rice and beans, drink copious amounts of margaritas and have serious discussions about our lives. Many times these discussions were quite therapeutic or cathartic, thus we gave the outings the acronym RBC. We had one rule only. What was said at RBC, stays at RBC.
The other night I had a bit of a cathartic epiphany but it occurred while I was on my own in the bath. I was not fueled by rice and beans or margaritas, but I did have a glass of white wine and had a smoke* so I was quite relaxed and my mind was wandering freely. I began thinking of the ways in my recent past and my present that I communicate with men I'm interested in, and it hit me.
I'm Passive Aggressive.
My communication with men I fancy seems to be mainly on messenger and via text. I'm very comfortable with that. It freaked me out a bit when Matt and I began dating and he would call me. Actually use the phone to call- what a concept! Matt would rarely text or respond to texts and our emailing was at work and would usually end with one of us dropping by to see the other. So he's an exception to my mode of communication with men of interest (I shall refer to them as MOI-also standing for Male of Interest-from this point on. I like acronyms).
Of course there are loads problems when you choose to communicate in this manner. I know that, but I still end up in these texting messaging situations. I just ended one and now I find myself possibly starting another and not even thinking twice about it. Sheesh. However, this mode of communication makes it easier to avoid situations or not face them directly. Plus, I can say things via text or messenger that are difficult to say to the person's face. Thus, it's passive aggressive.
Now since I have recently been self-diagnosed as a Lazy OCD, I can redefine my mental disorder.
I'm Passive Aggressive with latent Obsessive Compulsive tendencies.
Maybe that should be my headline on a dating profile or perhaps my new status on Facebook. I think that headline and this picture
would bring men running to my door. LOL!!!
So, after I realised that I'm Passive Aggressive with latent Obsessive Compulsive tendencies I laughed, got out of the tub, and responded to a text sent to me by my current MOI.
* For those of you who knew me back when smoking was a daily habit, I want to assure you that it is no longer. It is an occasional special treat.