I'm being a bad girl. Currently, I'm at work and we are meant to be using our time to develop curriculum as it is an inservice day. Instead I've decided to blog a bit.
This summer I had to clear out all the stuff at my parents' house since they were moving. I shipped it all over to the UK via school, and thus three large boxes sit in my back 'office' (a storage room really). I cracked them open and took my photo albums to my flat last week. Today it occurred to me that there were CD's I hadn't listened to for a good long time in those boxes. I took a few of them out and put them into my work i-Tunes.
I'm currently listening to Lori Carson, who was introduced to me by an ex boyfriend. This particular ex was an alcoholic and used to be a indie buyer for a record store in Seattle, which I believe no longer exists.
I put up with loads of crap from this guy for far longer than I should have because I was shallow. He used to order 2 copies of sample CD's from record labels and then would give one copy to me. I also was able to see 2 to 3 great shows a week for free. (Even after we broke up he still got me and my friend, Steve, into a Robin Hitchcock show which we might not have been possible without his help. We had to pay for tickets, however.) It was thrilling to always be my ex's 'plus one', and I ended up sacrificing my own well-being for my music addiction. Finally, I realised that my happiness was worth paying the full cost of CD's and shows. It's difficult to watch someone you care for destroy themselves, and despite the lure of the accident on the side of the motorway, I chose to look away. I haven't spoken to him since I left the US.
While listening to this album, memories of this time period came flooding back. Instead of feeling badly about it, it occurred to me just how much I have grown since that relationship and in part because of it. That girl with the low self esteem, who wanted so badly to be the 'cool music chic' is more or less gone. I still really love music and consider myself a bit of a junkie, but I'm not willing to sacrifice my happiness in a relationship in order to see shows for free or be comped a few CD's.
Lori Carson's album 'Stars' is nice and mellow. I'm quite enjoying it as I blog, but I must now get back to work. I have a Fishbone album, which I shall be playing next for a bit of a contrast.
Now playing: Lori Carson - Rainy Day