Let Your Child Be A Child, DAMMIT!!!!!

It's spring parent/teacher interview time and my next one is going to be a doozy.

The mother of this girl has a VERY strong personality and apparently there are many successful people in her family. Her daughter, however, is just average.

In the last story she wrote for me there was a mother figure 'yelling' at the protagonist, a little duck that couldn't smile, and telling it to smile. And in her journal writing she has written in abstract terms about the pressure she feels from her mother. Not surprisingly this girl has anxiety issues.

And, in a few minutes I am going to speak with her mother about how she's doing in my class. She's doing fine and like every other child she makes mistakes. My big fear is that this girl will be so anxious about not being perfect that instead of learning from her mistakes, her self-esteem will be torn apart by them.

So, in a professional non-threatening way I need to tell this parent to lay off.

Sometimes I really hate my job.

Things I Say

My students have decided to tell me of the things I say frequently during class:

'Ooohhhhhkay,' or 'Anyhoooo,' are often said as I'm getting back to a topic and turning towards the whiteboard.

'I'm experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.' said if my elctronic whiteboard goes wonky or I can't find something I need. I also say, 'Houston, we have a problem,' in these situations. If things are generally not going well or I've made an error I will say, 'Oh rats,' or 'Oh poo,' or 'What am I doing?'

'Why? Because I'm evil. Muah hahahahaaaaa' My response to why do we have homework or why do you make us do (fill in name of difficult assignment here). Apparently my evil laugh is really scary, but they love it (or tell me they do)

'Meanwhile back at the ranch.' I say this to myself as I am turning towards my computer to do something while they are working.

'Life is really hard for you, isn't it?' My response to whining about little things.

'I don't know. Can you?' which is my response to, 'Can I go to the toilet?' The first time I respond to their question like this I will go on to explain, 'Can is asking me if you are able and I would hope that at this age you are able to go to the toilet by yourself.'

And last but not least, 'Mrs. Martin is my mother.' I even have this written on a post-it next to a picture of me with my mother.

That is their list thus far. It's funny what kids notice.

Songs and Emotions

A short while ago I made the very difficult decision to end a friendship, which was very unhealthy for me. Frankly, I think ending friendships is even more difficult than ending romantic relationships and this one was doubly so. This began as a romantic relationship more than 2 years ago and then transitioned into a friendship. The friendship had gone in and out of its messy points since then and, no matter what my resolve, always ended up blurring the lines between being just buddies and lovers. I finally got to a place where I realised I would never be happy with the grey area we continuously fell into. The nature of this relationship seemed to always bring out a dark and rather nasty side of me. In short, I became someone I didn’t like.

I’d been doing ok since this all ended. It was, after all, my decision and I know it was the best for me in terms of overall long-term happiness. I’ll admit there are times late at night when I miss the text messages I would receive as I drifted off to sleep, among other things. But, I’ve been very happy overall since cutting ties.

Isn’t it weird how songs can elicit emotions? I had hardly given this much thought really and then BAM! A Mazzy Star song comes on my iTunes during my prep time and I’m reduced to ball of pain and depression. I probably would have begun crying if a colleague hadn’t come in with a query about our whiteboard program. Funny thing is I had never related this song, ‘Flowers in December’, to said friendship, so I’ve no idea why it triggered the response it did.

As usual writing this has made me feel better. Nothing to do but keep moving on and so I’m back to work.

Doh!

I made two silly mistakes this weekend.

1. The Lamb, a local pub, is going to have a party, celebrating a year under the new ownership. The theme of the party is paper. I realised this during the day on Saturday. Thus, I made a quick makeshift costume. It wasn't as good as I would have wanted, but it would do. I also found a paper bag that Linds could wear on her head if she desired. We were set. Then, a minute or so before we were meant to leave, I received a text from Ces informing me that the Lamb party was actually next weekend. Thank God, I got the text when I did. Can you imagine Linds and I walking in to the Lamb, me wearing my paper costume and she with a paper bag on her head, only to discover there was no party? Phew!

2. Linds and I decided to go to Gordon Bennett's to have a celebratory glass of champagne for Linds (she sold her flat). I was putting my foot down and refusing to let her pay for it. As I protested vehemently, I reached in my handbag and gave the barman my card. The barman looked at me and said, 'I'm sorry, miss, but we don't take Nectar Cards.' Doh! The people around me all laughed. One guy even said, 'Nice try.' I was bright red as I got my bank card out of my bag.

I'm off to a chilli cook off tonight. I've made cream cheese brownies and have been starving myself all day.