Friday, 13 March 2009

How Many Ways Do I Have To Stop Talking To You?

Right, so the modern world provides us with a plethora of technology that is supposedly meant to make it easier for its inhabitants to keep in touch no matter what the distance. However in my opinion, what it's really done is made staying out of touch more complicated.

When he first met me, J- paved several avenues of communication. He asked our mutual friend for my number and started texting me the day after we met. That same day he added me as a friend to Facebook. Later that evening he added my Yahoo messenger id to his MSN. Since there were technical glitches at times between Yahoo and MSN, he insisted on knowing my MSN id. I gave it to him and logged back onto MSN, which I hadn't used in about a year. About a month later he got himself a Yahoo id so we could use web cams (The Mac version of MSN doesn't support webcams). Then he discovered that I have AIM to keep in touch with my parents, so he added me to his AIM. He found out I have SKYPE. He added me to that. More recently he started following me on Twitter. I started following him as well.

When I stayed with him at his parents place he gave me a second mobile number that he now uses for work. Thus I had that too.

In addition to all of this J- would get on to Facebook, go through my friends and add all the ones he had just met. I thought this was sweet and was his way of saying that he wanted to know me better and intended on sticking around. What I wasn't taking into account was the fact that J- already had about 400 friends at that point. He is what I would call (and have called) a Facebook whore. Currently he has almost 900 friends on Facebook! Anyway, at the height of our relationship I had more friends in common with J- than I did with anyone else.

So it's over. I need some distance, but sheesh. What a pain in the ass this has been! I've had to delete two phone numbers in addition to about 500 texts and clear my phone log, so his number is nowhere in my mobile. This will prevent me from having temptation to contact him during those vulnerable 'I miss him' moments (drunk dialling or intextication will also be avoided). I did write his numbers down so that I have a way to get in touch if I need. He does still owe me money, after all.

And so on to the internet. As I mentioned earlier, I removed my profile from Facebook so I could avoid seeing (or having the temptation to see) what he’s doing. Before I did this I had to write about 100 people and explain simply to avoid worried and shocked emails. (I’m the last person you would expect to leave Facebook). Then, I stopped following him on Twitter. Finally, I proceeded to delete him from the four previously mentioned messengers. I didn’t block him, though. If he wants to chat with me he will. Plus, there is a bit of a charge knowing that if I am on line he will see me, but I won’t see him. (Yeah, I know. That’s a bit sick.) Eventually I would like it if we were friends, but right now I really just don’t want to think about him or see him if I don’t have to.

And so, I’m exhausted. In the days before all this technology, breaking up was so simple. You just threw out their number and didn’t call them. There were no computers to confront you with their existence and you didn’t have to delete your ex in 50 million ways.

My next boyfriend will only be allowed to write me emai--OH CRAP! I still have J-’s email in my yahoo and gmail address books!!

4 comments:

China Blue said...

'Ayo, I'm tired of using technology', as Justin Timberlake once said.

Talk about 50 ways to leave your lover! I also get a weird thrill from deleting my/his details so the gent in question would probably see me online, but I couldn't see him - after all, at that point he's dead to me. Part of me wanted to punish them and be in control. I'll admit, it feels good.

H~ said...

LOL!! Perhaps 50 ways to leave your lover would have been a more appropriate blog title.

Good to know that I'm not the only one who gets a thrill from being seen but not seeing.

mrsb said...

Good gosh, I'd never thought of what a mess it must be to untangle yourself from someone these days! It was much easier when I met my husband (now I sound like an old fart, lol!).

H~ said...

You're hardly old and definitely NOT a fart.

It was so much simpler before all this new fangled technology.